In the past six months.....

Apartment flooded.
Villa short-circuited.
Flew to London.
Hesitant Cabbie.
Tube.
Pearl Jam.
Anna Robinson.
Aoife O'Beirn.
England played terribly against Germany.
Bishop's Finger.
London Eye.
Dirty Plane to Edinburgh.
Uncle Rod.
Aunt Maureen.
Old City.
Sarah and I get irritated.
Fast Car.
Faster Car.
Eat Breakfast in Heathrow with Jennifer and Dave.
Paul in a ridiculous outfit.
6 hours short for E.I.
Corner Brook.
Cooper.
Mazda 3 Sport.
The Seventh.
Camping Around Twillingate.
Lee Stroud showing how he fights.
One Man's Loss is Another's Gain
Move to St. John's.
New SNL.
Went to work still drunk.
Move to Placentia.
PS3 breaks.
Turned 30.
Surprise Party.
Ipod Touch.
Wicked Wife.
Bought Xmas off the Internet.
Attempted Fertilization.
Apple TV From Chris
Boxing Day Near-Miss.
2nd Xmas With Separated Parents.
New TV
Call For School.
1 Firework For New Year's.
We Both Get Sick.
I Get The Worst Of It.

On Lady Gaga...

Me:"...and that's ALL she was wearing."
Sarah: "You can't care about what Lady Gaga is wearing. It's like that boy in your class that plays with himself. You just gotta look away and say 'they can't help it'".

E.Coli

Me (Talking about recent death): and the guy that invented the ATM died last week.
Sarah: Ass to Mouth?
Me (chock full of sarcasm) Yes. The guy who invented Ass to Mouth died last week.

pwned

My wife talks to Google. They don't get along. I guess she doesn't like it when someone is constantly picking out her mistakes.
Sarah : {tap, tap, tap, click} *sigh* "I know I spelt it wrong, you don't need to tell me. My finger slipped."

I like to call her Clyde

Claire emerges from the hallway and flops herself down on the loveseat. She looks at me and says:
"I like your bathroom because I look at a picture of Paul Warford while I'm taking a shit"