I plan on making a compilation of my favorite SNL sketches and placing them on this blog. They won't be all my favorites. Some of them I have been unable to find on the internet and they are quite old. There will be a couple from the Jason Bateman episode. I'm really looking forward to doing this. Because I am a geek. An SNL geek. My sister owns Trivial Pursuit - SNL Edition. I have only played a complete game of it once. It is hard to get people to play. Kirk Bussey has been the only person who looks forward to playing it with me. At the end of the only game I played, I got to the centre place on the board and the game clinching question was about to be asked. This is what it was. "What is the name of the Chris' Farley character who 'lives in a van down by the river'" I was wearing a shirt at the time that had those words printed on it. I am geek. I won.
The posts should be coming fast and furious. This week was eventful.
I went on the road this week. Fortune. The place.
You go to Fortune if you want to go to St. Pierre. I wouldn't necessarily recommend spending any time in either of those places. The only upside to Fortune is that it is a great place to get cheap St. Pierre liquor. Obtaining a crock of Gin was one of my two objectives on this trip. The other being getting the fuck out of there in a timely manner. While I didn't get any liquor, I did get salt fish splits. I don't like 'em but the old man lost his shit when he found out that I got him some.
Since 2004, I have been waiting for In Flight Safety to return to St. John's to perform a show. This past Friday, they played at the Ship. I had tickets well in advance. After a well-timed series of events, I watched them take the stage at around 1:30. They played a short set.... Probably the shortest set out of the the three acts that took the stage. They played three songs that weren't on their new album. Although I enjoyed hearing new IFS, I would have liked to hear a song off their first record. I discovered the band through that album. It would have been nice to hear at least one song off that E.P. And, as if to rub it in my face, they get up to do an encore and do two cover songs. One of them being "99 Luftbaloons" I was ready to leave at that point. I wasn't going to go to the second show. I wanted to go to the second show after the first show because the first show was so disappointing and I didn't want to have that taste left in my mouth. I have since convinced myself that the second show would probably be the same. Shame on the works of ya...
Parents: I am sick of you going into music stores and exclaiming to the clerk that your kid can play guitar hero on expert and therefore needs a real guitar because they have "natural talent". Your kid is good at video games, not music. Anyone who thinks shredding the solo to "welcome to the jungle" is same as hitting plastic coloured buttons should be kicked in the nuts. I'm not against these games. I'm against the parents who are too stupid or out of touch to know the difference.
The drums work though. Since I started playing drums on Rockband, my skills on an actual drum kit have drastically improved, especially in regard to the kick drum.
I always wondered if the musicians who have music in these games play their own songs in the game. I found this.... goes to show how much the parents know....
This song is just awesome....Is it okay that I like Tegan and Sara so much? They are twins. They are gay twins. Both of them. When guys say "I wonder do they make out with each other?" I reply "I dunno. Do you make out with YOUR sister?" Gets 'em every time.
When getting a battery of tests to see which STIs you got or don't got, they do a test for chlamydia. Apparently, there are two ways to do the test. The old way, and the new way. The new way don't hurt. The doctor I saw the other day don't know that way. He didn't know much. He didn't know where the tests were and spent the better part of 15 minutes scouring the clinic to find them. He ended up calling his doctor-buddy who let him in on the stash.
I get up on the table and remove clothing. This is the first time I have ever had to show my genitals to someone whom I didn't know their first name. Then he says something like "Yes by', shaves yer balls do you ya?" then jabs the stick where the pee comes out.
It hurt. Ya knows it did. Buddy said it would hurt. He talked like he was going to cut it off. It wasn't that bad. I made a little whimper and then it was done.
I hops up and says "Sure that wasn't bad at all!" He looked at me like he didn't believe me. He was trying to see that shimmer of pain that would be in my eyes if I was trying to be macho about it. I guess he psyched me out. I felt like saying "I once smashed my finger in the end of a piece of pipe and continued to work without looking at it for 15 minutes" but that's sprinkler talk. I feel really embarrassed when I talk like that. It kept hurting though. all the way to Dairy Queen. I said "Fuck this minor pain, I'm getting a sundae" and I did. And my bird stopped hurting. And everything felt right in the world. Until I got home. Syrup Turnip wasn't there. She was around the bay. I'm sure she would have said something clever that would have degraded me in some way. What a sweetheart.
