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I was at my parents house on monday. I had a pile of furniture in their living room. Mom was in Egypt when I put it there. She got home the other day. I was trying to figure out if I liked my Mom being halfway around the world in the desert more than I liked moving a bedroom set. She baked me a pie. The stuff had to go.
It's not like I had to move it far. Across the street actually. In the vacant part next door to Big Bite Pizza. Walt gave me an office in the back for me to stash my shit until I move back into town. 50 bucks a month. I became the billionth tenant of the place. Baloons fell from the ceiling. Or maybe it was gyproc dust. Before a storage office, that place was:
-Someone's house
-A Honda Store
-A video rental place
-An Adult Education centre
-P.C. Headquarters
-Another ATV place (Yamaha I think)
-A place to get yer nails did
I am sure there are more but memory fails me. Danny Williams came over for lunch with Mom when the elections were on the go. She could be a chef. She makes very complex and beautiful dishes. My dad likes to eat cod's heads.
How much is a tin a Pepsi in Alberta? Do they call it "a tin of Pepsi" in Alberta? Is it more or less than here? My friend ate at restaurant in Alberta and he told me that a club sandwich was like 25 bucks. Where is the justification?......
I been trolling the internet for at least a year now trying to find an episode of Saturday Night Live that I had seen in 2004. It was hosted by Robert DeNiro. I wanted it for a particular piece that I find to be one of my favorites. Well, I found and downloaded the episode this week. I plan on posting the particular piece as soon as I figure out how to cut that piece out of the whole show. I also found the episode from that season that Jason Bateman hosted. I feel that that particular episode was the best one since 2000. Just about every sketch is a winner.
I wrote this entire blog naked.
I didn't stop.
This has many meanings and sums up this weekend in so many ways.
I got home Thursday night and barely had time to take a shit when I packing my bags to leave again... A weekend in town. I didn't stop.
Because I was in Cock Block (If you don't know what I am talking about scroll down) for Valentine's Day, myself and an important person in my life decided to celebrate when I got back. We checked into the Delta friday evening. The room was huge. I have lived in apartments that were smaller than this place. It had a living room.
We went to Magnum & Stein's for dinner. The place is very nice. I had a plate of various shellfish that was delicious beyond written explanation. It was more than I could eat. I didn't stop.
After dinner we went to the store and bought champagne and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. We then went back to the hotel and turned on the jacuzzi. I didn't stop.
We slept in the next morning and was greeted with shitty snow. The real greasy stuff. We were downtown. The car wouldn't move. When I did move, I didn't stop.
Last night Miranda celebrated her 24th birthday. When Miranda is doing party stuff, you have to get in on it. It's always a blast. I got the usual phone call around 7 O'clock.
"What are you at me trout?"
"dis is it by"
"What time are you goin to the riff-raff?"
"I'm leaving now in a bit when She gets ready"
"Can you swing by and give me a ride on yer way? I was gonna ask Shandera but it's out of the way for him"
"Yes by I spose. Are you going to be ready when I leave?"
"I just needs to brush my teeth"
"Very good. I'll see you in a bit"
If you are "one of the by's" you know what happens next. This time I was surprised. He was showered (I assume), dressed. He was already half in the bag! This guy got his shit together. I later find out that he, in fact, DID shower. He drank half a bottle of wine in there.
The bowling was great. My greatest regret was not being drunk. I took a lot of pictures. I'll put em on facefuck as soon as my camera allows me to. Warford didn't appreciate its complexity. I don't think I have ever used it when I was drunk. I'm sure it doesn't make it easier. The only things that get easier for me when I am drinking is shooting pool and getting naked.
Corner Brook is done son! I think that's what Shandera would say if he was a sprinklerfitter. That's what I am saying. Glad to be out of the mill, glad to be out of the Humber Haven, glad to be away from the bearded-brute's face. I love working with him... I just can't handle him on a non-professional level.
This post was written on friday, february 15th
I am buzzed. This is the closest I have been to drunk since Shandera’s housewarming party. I think my guitar humidifier is still there. In a Peteresque gesture, I brought fireworks. This is the second time I brought fireworks to his new house. New Year’s proved to be too shitty. Madeline scares the shit out of me. She has no fear. I thought the “Party Girl” was going to blow her head off. she’s a trooper. The writer’s strike is over... I think. I am in the near-wilderness. I am not quite sure. I can’t wait for Saturday Night Live to start again (Even though it has been kinda shitty as of late) Just before the strike they hired a new missus. I hope she is better than Amy Poehler. She only has a couple of ways of being funny and she has exhausted those ways long ago.
This post was written on Thursday February 14th
I should be home this time next week. Barring any catastrophic mishap, I’ll be somewhere handy to Conception Bay on Thursday. It couldn’t come soon enough. Large men are drinking beer at the foot of my bed and complaining on how the beer isn’t cold enough. This is how I am spending Valentine’s Day.
