Sometimes you just gotta grab the Cow by the....

I wanna jump up in the air and click my heels. I am in bed. I'm not getting out to do that. Perhaps I'll make the yellow pages-walking fingers thingie and do one the top of my laptop. Something just burst wide open inside. I hope it isn't my spleen.

I always liked the expression "If he fell into a barrel of cunnys, he'd still come up with a cock in his mouth" If you don't get it, It refers to the amplitude of someone's homosexuality. I think I like it because it uses the word Cunny, which I find amusing and is the word a most often use to describe female genitalia. Number two would probably be "Cootch" Would you be allowed to say either on the radio or television? Maybe on Showcase.
I found out that my friends poke fun at me because I refer to having sex as "screwin'". I didn't think it was that funny until they brought it up. It's like something a 12 year-old would say. A lot of what I say could be mistaken for a 12 year-old's words. Cowabunga.