There are songs that remind me of people. One of my first blog entries touched on the fact that songs remind me of situations, summers, people etc. I had to go back and check just in case I wasn't doing a rerun or clip show. It's not. Here are some songs and the people they remind me of:
I am certain that there are more but these are ones that popped in my head instantly.
Man in the box reminds everyone of Dustin Bartlett. What song(s) remind you of me? I have a feeling Sloan, Pearl Jam, In-Flight Safety and maybe Joel Plaskett (Depending on how long you have known me) may be responses.
I didn't put my sister in this list. The reason for this is because she was/is probably my biggest musical influence. There would be too many songs to list.
*This is what came up when I googled "Feed Just a Mess Newfoundland"
** I had to change the title of this entry after the fact because it really had had no context other than it was a line in the Kate Nash song. I'm trying to pull this thing from the depths of sorrow to the nonsense, bullshit blog that it used to be.
Here I am at the beginning of September. The unofficial last day of summer. "Good riddence" I says. This has certainly been a summer to forget. Especially since the highlights of the summer include discovering the Boone's Chug and having a drunk girl in Goose Bay try to give me a handjob in the middle of a crowded bar. I didn't have sex either. Me and David Duchovny should hang out. I could straighten him out. This is the longest time I have gone without having sex since I lost my virginity. It actually doesn't bother me that much. I have been stood up too many times recently to give a shit about women right now. Enough of the chickenshit-bullshit. Let's talk about this weekend... weeee! I didn't go into work on Friday. I had an appointment that morning and took the day off to go to it. This meant I could sleep in a little later. I ended up at The Ship on Thursday night. Cherie Pyne released a CD there that night. I bought the CD. Unfortunately, most of the songs that she played that I had enjoyed were on one or more of her previous records. Paul Warford told me an attractive girl was giving me the up and down while we were there. He did not tell me this though until we were in the car, on the way home. "Thanks, shithead" I said. If she was hanging out at The Ship, I would say that she was a little too artsy for me. She's the kind of girl who wouldn't have sex with me because I once ate beef jerky. Get over it. Vegetables aren't everything. Friday night was at Robert Shandera's house. He turned 27 this weekend and he invited a crowd over to celebrate. Robert Shandera invited many single women to his party. A true pal. None of these girl showed up though. They all went to send a girl off to Australia. It was just as well. It was lost. It was a boy's night. I did a Boone's chug. Kirk and Miranda showed up and announced their engagment. That just leaves Me, Warford and Pike. Saturday was one of the days the three of us will talk about years from now. Shandera, Warford and myself drove out to Spaniard's Bay to get fitted for our tuxedos for Shandera's wedding. We walk in and tell the missus who were are and what we are doing there and she goes around the corner to get nice clothes for us to try on. We wander the shop, making fun of silly dresses and trying on top hats. Me and warford are in a corner where there is a mannequin wearing a wedding dress. I walk up behind the headless woman and start grinding her. I turn on my camera and tell warford to make love to the lifeless form. He gets behind the mannequin, places his hands on her hips and starts thrusting, much to our delight. Missus comes back around the corner and shouts "Get outta dat!" Laughter ensues. Missus goes back around the corner and warford makes his way towards the mannequin and whispers "c'mon, c'mon get a shot of this hee hee" He resumes thrusting the mannequin from behind when the missus comes around the corner and catches him doing it AGAIN! Missus bawls out: "Now Paul, what would yer mudder think if she knew you were doin' dat!?" I really wish I had a movie of the whole thing. Still photography will have to do. After we get fitted and we see our parents, we go to Ernie Green's for a feed of chicken, potato and lard. A tasty treat. My car still smells like garlic and savory. Saturday night was full of inspiration. I was hungry and my eyes could have used visine.... Sunday was Robert's birthday. We decided to go to comedy and then hit the street for tomfoolery. Comedy was pretty good. There was a girl there who i had not seen before. Her name was Mikaela and she was funny. Not a typical female comedian. Nothing was typical about her. She was funny (duh), smart and absolutely attractive in my eyes. Warford told me she had perfomed here before but hadn't been around in a long time. After the show I went up and talked to her in an attempt to find out more about this woman that intrigued me so much. Turns out she hadn't done comedy in a while at the Victory because she lives in fucking Toronto and is home for a few days. Alas, my world continues to spin on. We leave the comedy 3/4 of the way cocked. We immediately turn into a dark alley where myself and warford take turns drinking a bottle of homemade wine from his father. This is where the night goes downhill for me. We end up at Greensleeves downing pint after pint and shouting requests to the poor musician on the stage. "Play Metallica! I bet you can't fucking play Metallica!" He did. On an acoustic guitar no less. I don't remember much about leaving. A friend of a friend saw me and later said "I wasn't fit and could barely stand up" That sounds about right. We are walking down the street and I see I girl I know. For a while I had an interest in her. That's a different story. Anyways, I approach her and say "hello". She looks up and gives a cheerful "Hi" that she is known for. It is at this point I realize how drunk I am really am. I don't know what to do. So I tell her the truth' "Uh, I'm too drunk to talk to you right now" I say. Then walk away. I guess I won't be calling her anytime soon. I then ate a hotdog, went home and threw up. First time in a long time. I was due. I needed that hangover too. Made me realize the messes I am putting myself in.
Wanna go for a coffee with me? I have asked that question more frequently this summer than I have in my entire life. partly because I didn't really drink much of it until this year, partly because going for coffee has become the "go to the bar for a drink" for people who don't live downtown. I would love to live downtown. I moving the to opposite of downtown. That's okay though. The new accommodations will suit just fine.
Nothing funny is happening anymore. Maybe funny stuff is happening but I am too miserable to find it funny. I would say this is the most likely scenario. Funny stuff happens around me. I hang out with Paul Warford.
Someone gave me some inside information yesterday. Exciting information. I have been asked not to mention it to anyone and I will honor that request. I hope it goes through. I am pretty pumped about it. weeeeeeee!
Robert Shandera is having people intoxicate themselves and other at his house tomorrow night. Hopefully this will provide some stories, pictures and/or video footage. I can tell you that a Boone's chug will be performed and, depending on who is in attendance, I may possibly perform back-to-back chug's. Vomiting will be a guarantee.
I think I am going to make a little noise tonight. In one way or another.
Tomorrow is Andrew and Rachel's 1 st anniversary. I will wish them thousands of congratulations. Hopefully the will eventually both live in the same country.
My world was a a very different place 365 days ago.
This weekend was lost to say the least. Friday night we had a party for Kirk Bussey. He had accepted a job in central newfoundland as a teacher and we were going to do a Century Club with him before we left. Too bad we didn't ask him if he was going to be around this weekend. He wasn't. He had to go to Marystown for a wedding. That didn't stop us. This was only my 2nd time performing this feat. I said that I was going to do it with Guinness. Everyone thought I was nuts. It worked out very well and I am still nuts. I had a cd made with 100 clips of minutes songs. Every time the song changed, you were supposed to drink. I lost that CD and had to make up a new one the night before. Which is hard. Trying to find a 100 songs. Maybe I'm just lazy. Anyways, turns out I only put 98 songs on the CD. Andrew Butler came through. He is clutch like that. Next Morning. Warford wakes up before 10 O'clock. This is quite a feat. He is slightly hungover. If you seen the pics on facebook, you'd understand. We celebrate him seeing the sun before it reaches it's peak in the sky by going to Cora's downtown. The place is busy but not too bad. We get (possibly) the best table two bachelors could get. It is a window seat right next to the computer that the waitresses place their orders in. They wear tight black pants at Cora's. A nice bum must be a prerequisite there. Our table was also next to the door that you use to access the outside deck. There were wasps on the deck that day. Some people didn't like it. One of the waiters especially. He was rather flamboyant. This made his fear of wasps quite amusing. He wouldn't bring the food to the people outside. Instead, he used to give it to the waitresses to bring out. We found it funny. Then a wasp perched itself on the inside of the door. The gay waiter fuckin lost it. "Oh God! Oh! God! Kill it! Someone kill it! Angela! You kill it! It's gonna sting me, I know it." This went on for sometime and I was growing tired of the whining. Warford was visibly annoyed. I had enough. I stood up, rolled up my menu, went over and beat that fucking wasp into oblivion. I wanted to beat the fucking waiter into oblivion but beating the wasp was much more socially acceptable. I was especially attracted to one waitress. I think her name was katherine or kaitlin. Something like that. I didn't ask her out. I lack confidence. Also, I know how much these poor waitresses are getting asked out all the time and all they need now is another shithead asking them out on dates. My heart is not into it either....
Next thing ya know, I'm going to a Disney themed party. Everyone is supposed to dress like a character. I dressed up as aladdin. I already had the hat. I didn't know anyone at the party except for Paul Warford. By the end of the party, I had met lots of people, I wouldn't be able to tell you who I met though. I was pretty loaded, again.
Next morning, myself, Paul Warford and Robert Shandera went to Cora's for breakfast. Unfortunately, we were unable to secure the table with the spectacular view. Which was probably a good thing because sitting at the table next to it was a former important person in my life. The guys knew something was wrong. I didn't want something to be wrong. My gut just made me feel that way. Coffee fixed that. It wasn't the fact that she was there, she was there with someone that I accused her of cheating on me with. I couldn't say for sure that it happened. But about 10 minutes after I brought it up, we were broke up. She didn't like what was happening, I didn't like what was happening. I don't know why I asked her. How could I win? She says no, I look like and asshole, I feel bad, I fail. If she says yes, I feel bad, I fail. That moment burned so many bridges and sabotaged the relationship and any chance of reconciliation.
Girlfriends kill blogs. Single people put messages on t-shirts.
These statement are true. I plan on putting them on t-shirts.
Ever see the episode of Seinfeld where George and Elaine switch lives? George becomes all successful and charming and elaine becomes the loser and Jerry has everything even out?. This is happening with Warford and Me. I am the only one out of the group that is single and I am finding it exceedingly awkward around women. I have also started spilling shit on me. I wear a nice white t-shirt out to the coffee hangout tonight and walk out of the place wearing a tie-dye red and white number that Jack White would be proud of.
In one month I'll be cleaning this apartment for the last time. Then I'll be moving into a house. A big, empty house. It kinda bums me out because I have no furniture to put in it. I am also nervous that the size of the place will make me feel lonely. Come visit me when I move to airport heights... If it isn't out of your way.
I have been singing Joel Plaskett songs in my head for the past week. This week it has been Fur Packed Action. A few lines have been on repeat....
-Now I'm doing everything I've accused you of Wallowing in harmful feelings It's ok, It's alright, Another day, another night I'm a punk, I can take it
There were conflicting messages in my entry-before-last and the one before that. I didn't realize that until today. Although they conlfict, they both have aspects that are true. I'm still gonna enjoy the sundresses (even though summer is just about over) but I'm not gonna sweat it either. You can wear a sundress and strut over and see me. We'll see what happens.
I have been thinking about doing a stand-up comedy routine. I have thought of some bits that i would like to use. I thought of not doing it because comedy is Paul Warford's thing and I didn't want to take is thing. I have since realized that he is so much better than I'll ever be and I'll have no fear of even holding a candle to him.
Yesterday it poured. Monsoon rain. It was ridiculous. Especially when you work in a building that doesn't have windows in it yet. Thank baby Jesus for G.F.I.s It had rained the night before. Unfortunately, in a moment of stupidity, a had left my boots out by the door all night. I discovered this fact at 7:15. I had to back a work at 8. I was able to pour water from each boot. Long story short I made it to work, 10 minutes late, with dry footwear. Thanks go out to my future best man and to Hydro Quebec. The Joel Plaskett Emergency played at the Arts and Culture Centre last night. I was pretty excited and nervous at the same time leading up to the event. Joel Plaskett is, in my opinion, one of the best songwriters in Canada. I have been listening to his work quite extensively for quite a few months. I can probably sing the "Ashtray Rock" album from end to end. His heartfelt lyrics have relation to the darker parts of my life that have taken place this year and is the reason why I was nervous about going. Originally, I was to go the show with a former important person in my life. I later decided (for my own sanity) not to take her. This was probably one of the better decisions I have made this week. The show was great. Joel sang a mix of his recent work and some of his previous and solo work. He even played some stuff he hasn't released yet. There was one song, however, that I really wanted to hear -scratch that- needed to hear and you can imagine my disappointment when the house lights came on to bring an end to the concert and it still wasn't played. "Nothing More to Say". It's an "I'm finished with this" song. It would have been fitting. Alas, the world keeps spinning. In one moment of hilarity, Shandera and I were sitting almost directly in the middle of the theatre before the show started. People were filing in and we were discussing jiu jitsu and my future participation in it. Shandera says he would like to have some ,ats so that he could practice at home and that I could practice with him. The he says (quite loudly) "Sure we can find an old mattress somewhere and roll around for a while" The gentleman to our right immediately whipped his head around and looked at us. I beat my forehead against the seat in front of me. What else are ya gonna do?
Another Boone's chug was performed last night. It wasn't recorded at the request of one of the particpants. It was his birthday. Warford's old roommate was supposed to join us for the ritual. It was her idea to have it on friday night. She didn't show up, which didn't surprise me. Girls do that regularly when I am involved in the mix. That wasn't the important part. Not by a long shot. The surprise of the night was Warford's performance in the chug. He wasn't the last one finished. He wasn't even the second-last one finished. We were all very proud. I think the birthday boy would have done better had he not picked Green Apple to chug. Poor decision. The chug started a trend that night. I chugged everything. A Jagerbomb, 4 pints of Boddington's, MGD. I was pretty loaded by the end of it. Me and Pike were singing Radiohead songs. He was pretty loaded too. We haven't done that in a long time... I liked it a lot though.
I think I am going to start Jiu Jitsu, much to Shandera's delight. He has been trying to get me to join him in his class for some time now. I have decided to do so because I need to place focus on something. I tried placing focus on women. After getting stood up for the 4th time by the 3rd different person, I have realized I am wasting my time. Someone can ask me out for a change and if I feel like showing up to that date, I will. Jiu Jitsu won't stand me up. It'll probably knock me down, but It won't stand me up. Robert tells me that having chest hair is not good because it gets pulled from time to time. I have chest hair. More than necessary.
If you have been in the east end lately, you would have noticed that near torbay road, around the howley estates sobey's there is a 10 story, ugly concrete structure being built there. That is going to be my place of work for the next few weeks or months. I went there today to unload a truckload of material and get a few things set up. I almost died. I was working on the side of the building pushing something through a window when a heard a loud thud next to me. I looked down and saw a piece of 2x4 lying there. some asshole threw it from the 7th story and it just missed me. Not long after that, two guys got soaked after another guy dumped water out a window. a lot of water. I anticipate a fistfight before it's all over and done with.
I'm a new day rising I'm a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight I am a little divided do I stay or run away and leave it all behind
Monday, August 4, 2008
I was talking to a girl I thought I liked. We were having a great conversation about ourselves and such. Then she asked me what I did for a living. I told her. She looked to the floor and I could see that the interest she had in me had immediately waned. I hate that sometimes I feel ashamed of my livelihood. It's hard for people not to be ignorant when you work in a field no one has heard of. It still hurts though.
This post was written on Saturday, July 26 @ 8:23 P.M. in Goose Bay Labrador. The shady lodging that i am staying in has no internet so I’ll post this as soon as I can find unsecured wireless. As stupid as I think people are for not putting a password on their wireless connection, I thank them every time I go on the road for work. I am not sure the name of the place I am staying in while I am here but it is attached to this club called “The Hillbilly Ranch” It’s title is a direct result of its clientele. Not many people I have seen there have all their teeth. Seriously. I got totally wasted there on wednesday night. Bobby got pretty drunk too. I can’t really remember what happened during the tail end of the evening. Thursday night was ladies night. That was just fuckin’ retarded. A lot of natives there. Not one one of them worth looking at twice, let alone attempting receiving sexual contact from them. I am well aware of the time that has elapsed since my last encounter I’d never forgive myself if I sunk that low. Someone wanted to have sex with one of them though. I saw them do it. Between the side of the building and the side of my company van. I wanted to yell, or cheer or do something, but they saw me and didn’t stop so I figured it wasn’t worth it. The job is going very quickly and I expect to be home sooner than I anticipated. Still not soon enough. It is hotter than a four-balled tomcat. Read that last sentence out loud, with a southern accent. Clever. Seriously, it climbs into the mid 30s here in the afternoon. At 6 P.M. it was 29 degrees. No wind either. The natives drink their beer warm. Even in this weather. They can have it.
I feel like I am missing someone but it seems I have no one to miss. I miss you Hope to see you soon, whoever you are...
I leave for Labrador in the morning... As if this summer couldn't get any more fucked up. When I wanted to go on the road to work I was posted in town where I was miserable and lonely. My sister comes home from halfway around the world and I get sent to Goose Bay. I don't think I know anyone from Goose Bay or even Labrador for that matter so I shouldn't have to apologize for making the place seem shitty. In my life, right now, It's a bigger shithole than that bar on Tilton Barrens. "The Pine Grove" is the name (I think). That was a tangent. The worst part of going there is coming back. There will be no one waiting for me at the airport. Yet the world keeps turning...
I hope to one day be able to date women. It seems that I was doing it wrong before. Apparently being nice and a gentleman isn't the way to go. It seems women like drunk, abnoxious, annoying, broke assholes. I think I am at the pinnacle of my bitterness.... and I hate every minute of it
I need a machine that I can hook up to my brain so people can see what I am thinking rather than go by what comes out of my mouth. Many of my greatest downfalls have occurred from misunderstanding.
I think too much.
I am slowly turning into my parents. Recently, I have found myself waking up very early in the morning and not wanting to go back to sleep and then wanting to take a nap after lunch. I have also started listening to CBC radio. I am getting sick of music. It's pretty bad when you have satellite radio in your car and you are sick of hearing the same music over and over again. It's for this reason that I think I should be a program director or one of the guys a record company has that discovers new talent. If I was one of those guys, In-flight Safety would be floating off the lips of Ryan Secrest and Rick Dees
Winning the lotto would rock right now.
I just seen this commercial on tv. Everyone knows the tune. The words are changed. Some executive wanted the word "scream" in the ad as much as possible i guess. They should have made suzie mcneil sound a little less ridiculous and wrote a whole new song for their bullshit ride. I bet it costs like 15 bucks and a two hour wait to get on that thing. It probably runs on old dolphins too.
