Rock the Block

I am making some electronic songs. Most people will hate them. I am using samples from this song.





Some people shouldn't have anything to do with music. Like Shane here....




Just Awsome indeed.

Wha-What?

Nas and The Game are playing at the stadium in Torbay. That's fucking ridiculous.

There was an ass.....

It was only a matter of time. I have been pressured and bullied for "too much of a long time" to get this online somehow. Here it is. Everyone on it should be embarrassed.

We stole the idea from each other....

I've noticed that Facebook makes it look like me and Warford are in a drunken relationship. I've selected a few gems so that you know what I am talking about...

Sunday night Whinos

Here I am at the beginning of September. The unofficial last day of summer. "Good riddence" I says. This has certainly been a summer to forget. Especially since the highlights of the summer include discovering the Boone's Chug and having a drunk girl in Goose Bay try to give me a handjob in the middle of a crowded bar.
I didn't have sex either. Me and David Duchovny should hang out. I could straighten him out. This is the longest time I have gone without having sex since I lost my virginity. It actually doesn't bother me that much. I have been stood up too many times recently to give a shit about women right now.

Enough of the chickenshit-bullshit. Let's talk about this weekend... weeee!
I didn't go into work on Friday. I had an appointment that morning and took the day off to go to it. This meant I could sleep in a little later. I ended up at The Ship on Thursday night. Cherie Pyne released a CD there that night. I bought the CD. Unfortunately, most of the songs that she played that I had enjoyed were on one or more of her previous records. Paul Warford told me an attractive girl was giving me the up and down while we were there. He did not tell me this though until we were in the car, on the way home. "Thanks, shithead" I said. If she was hanging out at The Ship, I would say that she was a little too artsy for me. She's the kind of girl who wouldn't have sex with me because I once ate beef jerky. Get over it. Vegetables aren't everything.
Friday night was at Robert Shandera's house. He turned 27 this weekend and he invited a crowd over to celebrate. Robert Shandera invited many single women to his party. A true pal. None of these girl showed up though. They all went to send a girl off to Australia. It was just as well. It was lost. It was a boy's night. I did a Boone's chug. Kirk and Miranda showed up and announced their engagment. That just leaves Me, Warford and Pike.
Saturday was one of the days the three of us will talk about years from now. Shandera, Warford and myself drove out to Spaniard's Bay to get fitted for our tuxedos for Shandera's wedding. We walk in and tell the missus who were are and what we are doing there and she goes around the corner to get nice clothes for us to try on. We wander the shop, making fun of silly dresses and trying on top hats. Me and warford are in a corner where there is a mannequin wearing a wedding dress. I walk up behind the headless woman and start grinding her. I turn on my camera and tell warford to make love to the lifeless form. He gets behind the mannequin, places his hands on her hips and starts thrusting, much to our delight. Missus comes back around the corner and shouts "Get outta dat!" Laughter ensues. Missus goes back around the corner and warford makes his way towards the mannequin and whispers "c'mon, c'mon get a shot of this hee hee" He resumes thrusting the mannequin from behind when the missus comes around the corner and catches him doing it AGAIN! Missus bawls out: "Now Paul, what would yer mudder think if she knew you were doin' dat!?" I really wish I had a movie of the whole thing. Still photography will have to do.

After we get fitted and we see our parents, we go to Ernie Green's for a feed of chicken, potato and lard. A tasty treat. My car still smells like garlic and savory.
Saturday night was full of inspiration. I was hungry and my eyes could have used visine....
Sunday was Robert's birthday. We decided to go to comedy and then hit the street for tomfoolery. Comedy was pretty good. There was a girl there who i had not seen before. Her name was Mikaela and she was funny. Not a typical female comedian. Nothing was typical about her. She was funny (duh), smart and absolutely attractive in my eyes. Warford told me she had perfomed here before but hadn't been around in a long time. After the show I went up and talked to her in an attempt to find out more about this woman that intrigued me so much. Turns out she hadn't done comedy in a while at the Victory because she lives in fucking Toronto and is home for a few days. Alas, my world continues to spin on.
We leave the comedy 3/4 of the way cocked. We immediately turn into a dark alley where myself and warford take turns drinking a bottle of homemade wine from his father. This is where the night goes downhill for me. We end up at Greensleeves downing pint after pint and shouting requests to the poor musician on the stage. "Play Metallica! I bet you can't fucking play Metallica!" He did. On an acoustic guitar no less. I don't remember much about leaving. A friend of a friend saw me and later said "I wasn't fit and could barely stand up" That sounds about right.
We are walking down the street and I see I girl I know. For a while I had an interest in her. That's a different story. Anyways, I approach her and say "hello". She looks up and gives a cheerful "Hi" that she is known for. It is at this point I realize how drunk I am really am. I don't know what to do. So I tell her the truth'
"Uh, I'm too drunk to talk to you right now" I say. Then walk away.
I guess I won't be calling her anytime soon.
I then ate a hotdog, went home and threw up. First time in a long time. I was due. I needed that hangover too. Made me realize the messes I am putting myself in.

shitty vidi

Next time you are in my presence, ask me to tell you about the guy on the bike that I saw down by quidi vidi lake the other day. There is no way I could explain it with words. I will have to act it out. My only regret was not charging my cell phone that day. If it wasn't dead, I would have taken a video. Youtube would have loved it.

Heeeeeeeeere FISHY FISHY FISHY!

I spent a couple of days this week in Bay Roberts at my parents place. I needed to recharge and to find myself a little bit. Y'all know what's going on.
This morning me and dad go fishing. We go in past butlerville. Past first pond. Past second pond. Past third, fouth, fifth, 69th pond. We went way in. My Dad spoke like he knew where he was going. Boyd had told him about herringbone gully or something like that. He didn't know. I didn't care. There were very few ways for us to get lost. We drove over dirt road and wash-out for about 35 minutes. Finally we got to "the spot Boyd was talking about"
I cast out twice and get my hook stuck on a stick in the water. I have to cut my line already.
Cut the bullshit. If you have a grain of interest left you'll want to know if I caught anything. I did. 3 fishes. I threw them all back.. One of them was worth keeping but it had been such a long time since I was fishing last that I forgot what a good size mud trout was. They don't get that big.
Dad figures were are gone far enough on this dirt road that if we keep going we will meet up on the old track and end up in Whitbourne. Of course this isn't the case. We drive and drive and eventually the road deteriorates into a bog. Fortunetly, it wasn't all lost. In this bog was two canadian geese and a half dozen of their goslings. I think it's the first time I have seen these in the wild... I didn't have a camera. I don't know if I wanted to take a picture anyways. It would be one of those pictures you would show people and they would say "Oh Wow" but not really give a shit. The internet has done that to people. If I want to look at a picture of a goose, google will hook me up.
It took us over an hour to get back into civilization. During which I busted open a whole bottle of fly dope in my jacket.. Thank the baby Jesus for trucks and the open pans that they are known for.

I have nothing for you to watch this time...

!!

Cleaning with Dirt

It's Saturday morning. I am doing the housework. Laundry, sweeping. The regular shit. The landlords are away for the weekend so I got the tunes cranked while I go about my business. Soon I hear a knock on the door. I can't find the remote to turn off my rock and roll. I manage to get the volume turned down slightly but it's still loud. I open the door and it the Jehovah's Witnesses. They start giving their rundown on Jesus and such and their pamphlet that I won't read. Soon the next song comes on. "Do you fuck on the first date" I don't know if she could hear it. I was certainly loud enough. Maybe they tune out the Rock and Roll sound. She was cougar hot. Her dress kept blowing up around her. God is cool like that.

The First time is the worst

I never thought this day would come. I have busted my blog-cherry. There was blood. It came from my nose. I don't think I did it right.
I really would be surprised if anyone reads this blog. I rarely have anything insightful to say and I never have the attention span to turn an idea or thought into text. Many of my friends can vouch for this. The extent of me being entertaining usually has me either ending up injured or somewhat nude. Sometimes both.
The main reason this blog is here is for the same reason I end up injured and nude. Boredom. Another reason is my need to express that way I am feeling and my inability to make serious conversation with people about the way I am feeling. It feels kind of therapeutic to express myself to no one in particular. Perhaps I should get a show on that Roger's Channel. No one watches that.
Now, I have to find something to talk about...