Block and Key

It's okay.
We are safe.
It's like a back-room poker game now.
Bussey would win. He knows when to hold 'em, fold 'em, walk away, and when to put his facebook on limited profile.

A.D.D. post #1 for 2009. (Don't get excited)

I first thought that no one read this blog. Then I thought only a couple of friends read this blog. Now it seems there is a human being who shouldn't be reading my blog, yet, they are. I don't know what I could be saying that would interest him/her. I do not lead a sit-com style life like Paul Warford. I just really like SNL.

I am considering placing this piece of literary trash in some kind of "lock mode". I find this ridiculous. I never wanted to know who was reading my blog. If I know who you are, then I have apologize to you for having wasted your time reading my bullshit every time I see you. I guess you'll know if I do this.
I know other people that do this with their blog. Perhaps they could give me tips on how to set up/run this efficiently.

My posts are becoming less and less frequent. It's not that I am abandoning this project. It was a combination of me having continuous sex and not-continuous internet. One of those things has changed. I bought a router.

Earlier this fall, I was writing comedy pieces. I will never perform them. For one, I can't deliver them. I stop and do "um"s and "err"s. Secondly, I told a joke that I was sure was funny to Syrup Turnip and she didn't bat an eye. Immediately started talking about something else. I wasn't hurt. I just knew right then and there that it wasn't my thing. It was about sports, on television. Maybe the wrong crowd to pitch the idea? Whatever.

I can't recall telling you guys to listen to something for a while. Here's a band that is broke up and never released a record. In fact, this may be the only recording of their music in existence.

The Haters - Wrapped






Being a gentleman is understanding when "no" is the answer, accepting it, then moving on to other things.

Century Club!!

I didn't embarass myself again... yet
This marks my 100th post. I have been eying the "99" on the dashboard for quite some time. I kept holding off. The 100th post has to be something great. Like the 100th episode special on WKRP in Cincinnati. Bigger than Loni Anderson's hair.
I almost posted a very terrible entry about "ol' Red Beard". He has been a nuisance for me for some time now. If you don't know who I am talking about, it's no odds. I'm not wasting my time explaining him to you. I'm also not going to waste my (and your) time tearing him up in my blog. He needs to deal with some issues. He makes me feel uncharacteristic.

I promised that I would show SNL clips. I found the ones I want to show but i need to edit them out of the whole episode and make them into snack-sized doses. It's hard to find SNL clips on Youtube. Instead of finding Will Ferrell, you find this. I think she looks kinda like Anne-Marie Bourgeois.

"Hey, I'm going to the bathroom, don't steal my beer while I am gone"

Today I feel bad.
I feel bad for Syrup Turnip.
I feel bad for Ashley Ryan.
I feel bad for Johnathan Clark.

Last night was intense. I have never had quite an experience like that before. I didn't know he was drunk. If I knew that, things would have gotten worse, and I would have felt worse today.

I tried to look for a video. Most of them hit a little too close to home. I found this one.

You don't know Gus

Sometimes you know someone, then they say something that changes everything you everr thought about them. This happened 3 times in the past week. I'm not going into details. 2 of them know what I am talking about. One of them is so self-centered that they have no idea that what they said was probably the most hurtful, offensive thing I have ever heard them say. Our friendship is in serious jeopardy because of it. What a waste of 7 years. Lol

Part of a complete breakfast...

This weekend was lost to say the least.
Friday night we had a party for Kirk Bussey. He had accepted a job in central newfoundland as a teacher and we were going to do a Century Club with him before we left. Too bad we didn't ask him if he was going to be around this weekend. He wasn't. He had to go to Marystown for a wedding. That didn't stop us.
This was only my 2nd time performing this feat. I said that I was going to do it with Guinness. Everyone thought I was nuts. It worked out very well and I am still nuts. I had a cd made with 100 clips of minutes songs. Every time the song changed, you were supposed to drink. I lost that CD and had to make up a new one the night before. Which is hard. Trying to find a 100 songs. Maybe I'm just lazy. Anyways, turns out I only put 98 songs on the CD. Andrew Butler came through. He is clutch like that.
Next Morning.
Warford wakes up before 10 O'clock. This is quite a feat. He is slightly hungover. If you seen the pics on facebook, you'd understand. We celebrate him seeing the sun before it reaches it's peak in the sky by going to Cora's downtown. The place is busy but not too bad. We get (possibly) the best table two bachelors could get. It is a window seat right next to the computer that the waitresses place their orders in. They wear tight black pants at Cora's. A nice bum must be a prerequisite there.
Our table was also next to the door that you use to access the outside deck. There were wasps on the deck that day. Some people didn't like it. One of the waiters especially. He was rather flamboyant. This made his fear of wasps quite amusing. He wouldn't bring the food to the people outside. Instead, he used to give it to the waitresses to bring out. We found it funny. Then a wasp perched itself on the inside of the door. The gay waiter fuckin lost it. "Oh God! Oh! God! Kill it! Someone kill it! Angela! You kill it! It's gonna sting me, I know it." This went on for sometime and I was growing tired of the whining. Warford was visibly annoyed. I had enough. I stood up, rolled up my menu, went over and beat that fucking wasp into oblivion. I wanted to beat the fucking waiter into oblivion but beating the wasp was much more socially acceptable.
I was especially attracted to one waitress. I think her name was katherine or kaitlin. Something like that. I didn't ask her out. I lack confidence. Also, I know how much these poor waitresses are getting asked out all the time and all they need now is another shithead asking them out on dates. My heart is not into it either....

Next thing ya know, I'm going to a Disney themed party. Everyone is supposed to dress like a character. I dressed up as aladdin. I already had the hat.
I didn't know anyone at the party except for Paul Warford. By the end of the party, I had met lots of people, I wouldn't be able to tell you who I met though. I was pretty loaded, again.

Next morning, myself, Paul Warford and Robert Shandera went to Cora's for breakfast. Unfortunately, we were unable to secure the table with the spectacular view. Which was probably a good thing because sitting at the table next to it was a former important person in my life. The guys knew something was wrong. I didn't want something to be wrong. My gut just made me feel that way. Coffee fixed that.
It wasn't the fact that she was there, she was there with someone that I accused her of cheating on me with. I couldn't say for sure that it happened. But about 10 minutes after I brought it up, we were broke up. She didn't like what was happening, I didn't like what was happening. I don't know why I asked her. How could I win? She says no, I look like and asshole, I feel bad, I fail. If she says yes, I feel bad, I fail. That moment burned so many bridges and sabotaged the relationship and any chance of reconciliation.

"It's times like these you learn to live again"

It seems a very important person has entered my life once again. A very nice letter was written. I cried a little bit. I am such a girl.
The people that know me best know that I am a complete mamma's boy. I am kind of proud of that. She cooks very well. I have impressed many a girlfriend by taking them to my parent's place so that mom could show off her culinary excellence. She is also an interior decorator. You know this when you walk in my parent's house. She has a real knack for decorating houses for Christmas. It's the most wonderful time of the year you know.

Don Cherry has lost his mind you know. The shit he gets on with reminds me of when I worked the seniors homes there a few years ago. Specifically, the Alzheimer's ward. I am convinced he is suffering from it. That greatest Canadian shit they had a few years ago on CBC might have pushed him over the ego-edge as well... that old cocksucker.

I haven't posted any music that I found new and/or interesting lately (other than my covers entry that none of you gave a fuck about) so here is some shit for you tickle your taints with

I live alone again.
I didn't like it at first... Everything in the apartment *correction* the apartment itself reminded me of my former roommate, even though we lived there for only a week.
I have realized this week that this is my apartment. It's starting to feel that way too. I like it here.

Nobody reads this anymore. I figured someone would have left a comment in my last post saying i forgot to include a song in my list.

Good Kids Pretend they're Bouznuh

The other night, I told Andrea to lick my tractor. She laughed. I told her it was a song. She didn't believe me so I told her the story about it. I'll tell you now.
About 10 years ago, this band from St. John's called "space fat guys" went up to one of the atlantic provinces to take part in the ECMA week events. They had the opportunity to play on the local cable television channel as a part of a showcase of the different bands that had come to perform during the awards. They wrote a song called "lick my tractor" They were told not to play that song on the TV. They played that song on the TV. They got kicked off the TV. Debbie Cooper reported about it on the TV.
After I told her the story, I felt the need to hear this song again. I looked up space fat guys on a torrent search engine and to my surprise, I found the album in question. I couldn't believe it. But soon after i found something that blew me away. Something so retarded I think I jumped up and danced. A torrent containing over 2.5 GB of newfoundland rawk. Not only was I able to download it, but quickly. It contained music from After Forever, Blue Mojo, Buckettruck, Buddhajuke, Bung, Cabmen, Ched, Children of Eve, Crackwillow, Da Slyme, Darshiva, Dcomp, Dead Red, Ditch, Dog Meat BBQ, Drive, Dumbp, Fish n Rod, Fur Packed Action, Fuzzy Pumper, Gearbox, Geinus, Gelatinous Resin, Giver, Good Kids Pretend They're Bad, Good to Go, Guilty Bystanders, Hardliner, Hardship post, Horsecat, Howl, Hung Up, Impalas, Infinity, JKW, Johari WIndow, Jupiter Landing, Kuroda, Last Line, Lemontree, Life Of Leisure, Linger Effect, Lizband, Mike Wade, Molotov Smile, Moses Goat, Mr. Bellyache, Mr. Cock and Balls, Necropolis, Nerbenzer, Oberon, Of the Ashes, Parvenu, Placid Rain, Plan 13, Potatobug, Potbelly, Ratfish, RDP, Ritchie Perez, Ron Hynes, Secret Cervix, Sheavy, Space Fat Guys, Spunk, Staple, Stirlingslacks, Sunday Noise, Supagloo, Susan Gale, Sweatshop, The Farts, The Vav, This Day Forth, Thomas Trio and the Red Albino, Through Enemy Eyes, Thumm, To Kill a Nation, Tough Justice, Dead Reckoning, Marble, Persona (Now Know as The Novaks), Septic, Fool!, Sun Driver, Trimmed Navel Beef, Wonderful Grand Band, plus more. There are song some songs i would like to post... If I can figure out a way to do that, I will do so. I am giddy. I just got hit in the head with a tampon.

Note: Bold and italics means I got particularly excited about that band.

EDIT!: People have asked me for a link to this torrent. Just go to isohunt.com and search for localmp3s

The Weekend that was...

I didn't stop.
This has many meanings and sums up this weekend in so many ways.
I got home Thursday night and barely had time to take a shit when I packing my bags to leave again... A weekend in town. I didn't stop.
Because I was in Cock Block (If you don't know what I am talking about scroll down) for Valentine's Day, myself and an important person in my life decided to celebrate when I got back. We checked into the Delta friday evening. The room was huge. I have lived in apartments that were smaller than this place. It had a living room.
We went to Magnum & Stein's for dinner. The place is very nice. I had a plate of various shellfish that was delicious beyond written explanation. It was more than I could eat. I didn't stop.
After dinner we went to the store and bought champagne and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. We then went back to the hotel and turned on the jacuzzi. I didn't stop.
We slept in the next morning and was greeted with shitty snow. The real greasy stuff. We were downtown. The car wouldn't move. When I did move, I didn't stop.

Last night Miranda celebrated her 24th birthday. When Miranda is doing party stuff, you have to get in on it. It's always a blast. I got the usual phone call around 7 O'clock.
"What are you at me trout?"
"dis is it by"
"What time are you goin to the riff-raff?"
"I'm leaving now in a bit when She gets ready"
"Can you swing by and give me a ride on yer way? I was gonna ask Shandera but it's out of the way for him"
"Yes by I spose. Are you going to be ready when I leave?"
"I just needs to brush my teeth"
"Very good. I'll see you in a bit"

If you are "one of the by's" you know what happens next. This time I was surprised. He was showered (I assume), dressed. He was already half in the bag! This guy got his shit together. I later find out that he, in fact, DID shower. He drank half a bottle of wine in there.

The bowling was great. My greatest regret was not being drunk. I took a lot of pictures. I'll put em on facefuck as soon as my camera allows me to. Warford didn't appreciate its complexity. I don't think I have ever used it when I was drunk. I'm sure it doesn't make it easier. The only things that get easier for me when I am drinking is shooting pool and getting naked.

Your Choice, Our Chance

I have lost 27 pounds since this summer. I need to lose long term girlfriends more often. just kidding.

A Healthy Kind of Hot

My line of work has poked me in parts of this province that I never thought I would ever need to go to. It was in these places that I realized who my dream girl is. The girl who gives me googlie eyes. It's not a girl a with long hair or big tits (Although I am patrial). Are you ready for my dream girl?
Nurses.
There's nothing in this world that I find sexier than a nurse. I once told this to a very important person in my life and she offered to dress up like one for me. Although I appreciated her offer, she missed the point. It wasn't a physical attraction. I am attracted to the trade. I am brutal for breaking myself up. There's nothing sexier than a girl that can patch me up after I do something stupid. Oddly enough, I have never been to one of those mixers put off by the MUN nursing class. I guess it's because they aren't actually nurses yet.
I just got out of the shower and as I was in there soapin and shavin I thought of song I haven't heard in eons. Check it out. Whatever happened to them?