In the past six months.....

Apartment flooded.
Villa short-circuited.
Flew to London.
Hesitant Cabbie.
Tube.
Pearl Jam.
Anna Robinson.
Aoife O'Beirn.
England played terribly against Germany.
Bishop's Finger.
London Eye.
Dirty Plane to Edinburgh.
Uncle Rod.
Aunt Maureen.
Old City.
Sarah and I get irritated.
Fast Car.
Faster Car.
Eat Breakfast in Heathrow with Jennifer and Dave.
Paul in a ridiculous outfit.
6 hours short for E.I.
Corner Brook.
Cooper.
Mazda 3 Sport.
The Seventh.
Camping Around Twillingate.
Lee Stroud showing how he fights.
One Man's Loss is Another's Gain
Move to St. John's.
New SNL.
Went to work still drunk.
Move to Placentia.
PS3 breaks.
Turned 30.
Surprise Party.
Ipod Touch.
Wicked Wife.
Bought Xmas off the Internet.
Attempted Fertilization.
Apple TV From Chris
Boxing Day Near-Miss.
2nd Xmas With Separated Parents.
New TV
Call For School.
1 Firework For New Year's.
We Both Get Sick.
I Get The Worst Of It.

Weekend not updated

NBC is hurting. They are cutting corners everywhere they can. Saturday Night Live is not exempt.

Here is Keenan Thompson doing a Bill Cosby impression in the fall of 2009.

Here is a shot from October 1995

I wonder how many other people have worn this?

How to get banned from SNL (Part 3)

Rip up a picture of the pope.

Sinead O'Connor - War - WalKnDude - www.planetnetopia.com @ Yahoo! Video

How to get banned from SNL (Part 2)

Smoke weed on-air.

I can't remember when this happened. Probably in the mid 90s. That's when Cypress Hill was popular. They got up to do their second song and one of the guys that doesn't have the squeaky voice blew up a joint at the beginning of the song. Instant ban.

How to get banned from Saturday Night Live (Part 1)

Say "Fuck" (in the 80s)

Probably the only memorable part of the 1980-81 Season, Charles Rocket got his mediocre ass fired for saying "fuck" on the air during the "goodnights" at the end of the show. Some chick from Dallas was the host. He had been "shot" during an earlier sketch and this was a continuation of it. Eddie Murphy had a deadly reaction. Eddie was like, 18 or 19 when he was on the show.



Not only did Charlie get fired, so did the producer




Edit: I placed "in the 80s" in brackets because you don't get banned for it anymore.

Norm MacDonald in the 90s:



Jenny Slate did it in this season's premiere:

This is why I need a reminding book.

It seems the video became restricted. I can watch it. Rachel can probably watch it. No Canadians though.

I'm engaged.

I should have told you all about this by now, although I told most of you through other means.

When we get married, her blog will become the dominant blog and mine will be forced to either submit and roll over, or change into something different. SNL blog? I hope. I have a lot to say about this. I have even more to show. Youtube has already pissed on that fire. I can only upload shitty little clips on blogger and even then I am not sure it will work. I do have quite the collection. Ask Turpin.

My Dad's the mayor, OH YEAH!!!

This is my new saying. I can share it if you like....

This is the video. I imagine Youtube is going to take it down soon.

Century Club!!

I didn't embarass myself again... yet
This marks my 100th post. I have been eying the "99" on the dashboard for quite some time. I kept holding off. The 100th post has to be something great. Like the 100th episode special on WKRP in Cincinnati. Bigger than Loni Anderson's hair.
I almost posted a very terrible entry about "ol' Red Beard". He has been a nuisance for me for some time now. If you don't know who I am talking about, it's no odds. I'm not wasting my time explaining him to you. I'm also not going to waste my (and your) time tearing him up in my blog. He needs to deal with some issues. He makes me feel uncharacteristic.

I promised that I would show SNL clips. I found the ones I want to show but i need to edit them out of the whole episode and make them into snack-sized doses. It's hard to find SNL clips on Youtube. Instead of finding Will Ferrell, you find this. I think she looks kinda like Anne-Marie Bourgeois.

Future, revealed

I plan on making a compilation of my favorite SNL sketches and placing them on this blog. They won't be all my favorites. Some of them I have been unable to find on the internet and they are quite old. There will be a couple from the Jason Bateman episode. I'm really looking forward to doing this. Because I am a geek. An SNL geek. My sister owns Trivial Pursuit - SNL Edition. I have only played a complete game of it once. It is hard to get people to play. Kirk Bussey has been the only person who looks forward to playing it with me.
At the end of the only game I played, I got to the centre place on the board and the game clinching question was about to be asked. This is what it was.
"What is the name of the Chris' Farley character who 'lives in a van down by the river'"
I was wearing a shirt at the time that had those words printed on it. I am geek. I won.

A.D.D. post. (Now with 17% more Michael Phelps)

I had teeth ripped out of my head again today. I bled profusely at one point. Blood pours from my upper orifices quite frequently. I had it under control. I understand how blood clots work.

Ediie Winslow is a bigger loser than Steve Urkel. At least Urkel was smart and invented cool and/or funny things. Ediie had a big head and hung around with Steve Urkel. And Waldo Faldo. Guilty by association.

Somebody finally wore stockings for me.

I created a facebook account for the vest. We called it Dolly. Thank you Rachel. We really miss you when you aren't around because you have to be one of the most fun people I have ever met. You and Sarah Turpin are made for one another.

When did Saturday Night Live start doing reruns live? Michael Phelps was in a sketch the ther week that was exactly like a sketch Peyton Manning was in last year. Who lets Lorne Micheals get away with this? Are the writers on the show that bad that they have to redo sketches. Is this their way of making recurring characters. I can not think of any noteworthy ones as of late. History is repeating itself.

I like this song. The breakdown is epic. The video is shitty.

Happy Birthday Andrew Butler

Saturday night live isn't funny anymore. Last week, They did a sketch will Michael Phelps that was EXACTLY the same as a sketch they did with Peyton Manning a year or two ago. It was a live re-run. Shame on Lorne Michaels for allowing that to be aired.
I blame NBC for the decline in Saturday Night Live. In 1999, they changed the way there do contracts for SNL players and writers. Long term deals, commitments to movies, commitments to NBC sitcoms. A lot of good comedians get turned off by these demands and opt not to sign with this once comedic mecca. NBC is trying to cash in on the next Adam Sandler and Mike Myers. The problem is, the next Adam Sandler and Mike Myers isn't going to sign a shitty contract like that. All you get is unfunny people like Andy Samburg, Seth Myers (SNL's head writer btw), and Amy Poehler.

Norm MacDonald was funny on the show. Wasn't much of a character actor though. I have a feeling NBC kept him on a short leash as well. Here is a classic appearance by him on Conan O'Brien from 1997:
Part 1


Part 2


Part 3

A.D.D. Posts Again

Andy Samburg isn't funny. I feel bad for Tom Hanks in this sketch. If it was anyone else there, it would have sucked horribly.

Did anyone go to Salmon Fest? Am I and all my friends too old for that racket or was it just too shitty for any of my peers to attend. Blue Rodeo would have been nice to see but not @ salmon fest. I wanna hear fuckin' rock @ that venue.

I considered deleting the post entitled "lemon post". I was quite bitter at that time for all the wrong reasons. I eventually decided to leave it there. I don't want to forget my experiences in the past 2 months because I'll probably be in a similar situation later in my life and leaving it there will provide perspective. My memory sucks so bad.

Things are looking up. I have met some really interesting people recently and thoughts of them have been taking over my consciousness instead of the bullshit that has been driving me nuts for the past while. It's the first time I have been happy in so long and feels so good.

This entry may contain scenes of nudity

I was at my parents house on monday. I had a pile of furniture in their living room. Mom was in Egypt when I put it there. She got home the other day. I was trying to figure out if I liked my Mom being halfway around the world in the desert more than I liked moving a bedroom set. She baked me a pie. The stuff had to go.
It's not like I had to move it far. Across the street actually. In the vacant part next door to Big Bite Pizza. Walt gave me an office in the back for me to stash my shit until I move back into town. 50 bucks a month. I became the billionth tenant of the place. Baloons fell from the ceiling. Or maybe it was gyproc dust. Before a storage office, that place was:
-Someone's house
-A Honda Store
-A video rental place
-An Adult Education centre
-P.C. Headquarters
-Another ATV place (Yamaha I think)
-A place to get yer nails did

I am sure there are more but memory fails me. Danny Williams came over for lunch with Mom when the elections were on the go. She could be a chef. She makes very complex and beautiful dishes. My dad likes to eat cod's heads.

How much is a tin a Pepsi in Alberta? Do they call it "a tin of Pepsi" in Alberta? Is it more or less than here? My friend ate at restaurant in Alberta and he told me that a club sandwich was like 25 bucks. Where is the justification?......

I been trolling the internet for at least a year now trying to find an episode of Saturday Night Live that I had seen in 2004. It was hosted by Robert DeNiro. I wanted it for a particular piece that I find to be one of my favorites. Well, I found and downloaded the episode this week. I plan on posting the particular piece as soon as I figure out how to cut that piece out of the whole show. I also found the episode from that season that Jason Bateman hosted. I feel that that particular episode was the best one since 2000. Just about every sketch is a winner.

I wrote this entire blog naked.

This post was written on friday, february 15th
I am buzzed. This is the closest I have been to drunk since Shandera’s housewarming party. I think my guitar humidifier is still there. In a Peteresque gesture, I brought fireworks. This is the second time I brought fireworks to his new house. New Year’s proved to be too shitty. Madeline scares the shit out of me. She has no fear. I thought the “Party Girl” was going to blow her head off. she’s a trooper. The writer’s strike is over... I think. I am in the near-wilderness. I am not quite sure. I can’t wait for Saturday Night Live to start again (Even though it has been kinda shitty as of late) Just before the strike they hired a new missus. I hope she is better than Amy Poehler. She only has a couple of ways of being funny and she has exhausted those ways long ago.

Youd Shouldn't Need to Laugh

Corky is a shitty name. That's why I thought that "Life Goes On" was such a pile of shit. I can only imagine what should have happened in real life...
DOCTOR: I have examined your new-born boy and and I am happy to say that he is perfectly healthy. We have also determined that the baby has Down's Syndrome. You both are excellent parents and I think that you'll both be able to provide the special care necessary and be able to nurture the boy and have him live to his full potential. What are you going to call him?"
PARENTS: Corky.
DOCTOR: Get the fuck outta this room! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Kids are cruel ya know. It's going to be hard enough having to grow up with Down's. You are going to call him Corky now and make sure he never has any friends? I'm calling the cops.

This is how it plays out in my head. I laugh at myself.. kinda like Jimmy Fallon. Did he ever do a sketch without laughing? People say he was the funniest performer on SNL in years but I don't think you would have laughed at a lot of his sketches if he didn't bust out laughing during his lines and make everyone else in the sketch laugh.
Check out this tune. We played with these guys at a battle of the bands once... It was like, their first or second ever show. They played one song twice because they didn't know any more. Not very good when you are playing a 6 song set. I think they still won... They are that good. Good bands can do that and get away with it.