It has almost been a month. That is ridiculous. This is a blog, not Rolling Stone. People on the internet are impatient. They want things right away and they want lots of it. If you ever have to use dial-up internet again you will know what I am talking about.
A good reason why the blog hasn't been updated in a while is because I broke my laptop. It is a Mac. When I tell people that my macbook is broke they say "I thought macs didn't break". If that was the case I would get Apple to build me a car. It would be white and come with a lot of packaging. It would be started by first inserting you finger into a small hole on the dash and then picturing kittens in you brain. (For no other reason than just to be different than every other car out there)
I am moving again. This time to Kilbride. Underneath my best friend's sister. I had a crush on her when I was 5. Because she had freckles. She is a nurse. My girlfriend thinks I will have a crush on her again for this reason.

Good Kids Pretend they're Bouznuh

The other night, I told Andrea to lick my tractor. She laughed. I told her it was a song. She didn't believe me so I told her the story about it. I'll tell you now.
About 10 years ago, this band from St. John's called "space fat guys" went up to one of the atlantic provinces to take part in the ECMA week events. They had the opportunity to play on the local cable television channel as a part of a showcase of the different bands that had come to perform during the awards. They wrote a song called "lick my tractor" They were told not to play that song on the TV. They played that song on the TV. They got kicked off the TV. Debbie Cooper reported about it on the TV.
After I told her the story, I felt the need to hear this song again. I looked up space fat guys on a torrent search engine and to my surprise, I found the album in question. I couldn't believe it. But soon after i found something that blew me away. Something so retarded I think I jumped up and danced. A torrent containing over 2.5 GB of newfoundland rawk. Not only was I able to download it, but quickly. It contained music from After Forever, Blue Mojo, Buckettruck, Buddhajuke, Bung, Cabmen, Ched, Children of Eve, Crackwillow, Da Slyme, Darshiva, Dcomp, Dead Red, Ditch, Dog Meat BBQ, Drive, Dumbp, Fish n Rod, Fur Packed Action, Fuzzy Pumper, Gearbox, Geinus, Gelatinous Resin, Giver, Good Kids Pretend They're Bad, Good to Go, Guilty Bystanders, Hardliner, Hardship post, Horsecat, Howl, Hung Up, Impalas, Infinity, JKW, Johari WIndow, Jupiter Landing, Kuroda, Last Line, Lemontree, Life Of Leisure, Linger Effect, Lizband, Mike Wade, Molotov Smile, Moses Goat, Mr. Bellyache, Mr. Cock and Balls, Necropolis, Nerbenzer, Oberon, Of the Ashes, Parvenu, Placid Rain, Plan 13, Potatobug, Potbelly, Ratfish, RDP, Ritchie Perez, Ron Hynes, Secret Cervix, Sheavy, Space Fat Guys, Spunk, Staple, Stirlingslacks, Sunday Noise, Supagloo, Susan Gale, Sweatshop, The Farts, The Vav, This Day Forth, Thomas Trio and the Red Albino, Through Enemy Eyes, Thumm, To Kill a Nation, Tough Justice, Dead Reckoning, Marble, Persona (Now Know as The Novaks), Septic, Fool!, Sun Driver, Trimmed Navel Beef, Wonderful Grand Band, plus more. There are song some songs i would like to post... If I can figure out a way to do that, I will do so. I am giddy. I just got hit in the head with a tampon.

Note: Bold and italics means I got particularly excited about that band.

EDIT!: People have asked me for a link to this torrent. Just go to isohunt.com and search for localmp3s

On March 24th, my Grandfather, E.H. Vokey, passed away. He was 88 years old. He called me his (pronounced) cockedah roosah. I never did ask him why he called me that or what it meant. He took great pride in the fact that I look just like he did when he was my age.
Nan once sent him out to get ice cream. He came back 7 or 8 hours later with melted mess. When nan asked him where he was, he replied "in a helicopter". I think that's totally understandable. If I were given the opportunity to go for a spin in a whirly-bird I would drop what I was doing and get aboard too. Me and pop are a lot a-like that way.
I heard a lot of funny stories about pop in the past few weeks. A lot of them involve him being drunk. That is how a lot of my funny stories roll.

I miss him.

More barf on Good Friday.....

I haven't been posting as often as I should. I do not have the "boring life" excuse. Not this time. A lot has gone on in the past couple of weeks.
I went "downtown" a couple of Fridays ago. Actually it was Good Friday. Jesus didn't appreciate it.
For the first time ever, I had gone downtown with no intention to see a band or show. It was going to be pure drunk-dancing. It made me sick to m stomach thinking about it in the car on the way down. It was that or all the beer I drank before.
We went to Konfusion. I don't know how this ranks as one of the dance places in town to dance. Don't write comments or message me saying "You went to Konfusion??? Aww man, you shoulda went to...." It don't matter. It was fun for about 10 seconds.
Shandera and Warford were downtown as well that night. They don't show the savior much respect either. They were down in my element. They were checking out some band @ roxxy's. I like roxxy's, it's small, loud, and The Antics were popular there for a short time. I hadn't seen the crowd I was with for about a half hour so I decide to dart over there for a little bit and maybe check out a band. I call Shandera. He is on his way home. He tells me Warford is still down and got a good buzz on. I climb the stairs to the deck in front of the club and instantly see the afro. That is the best thing about Paul Warford. It could be Retarded Christmas Shopping Blitz at the mall and you could still find Warford in a matter of seconds. Shandera is easy to find too. That's because you just have to go to EB and you'll find him. Anyways, back up to me coming up the stairs. I approach him from behind and grab his shoulders like I am going to throw him down the stairs I had just climbed like a bouncer throws a jerk down the stairs at the Cotton Club (I don't know anything about that). He gags on his cigarette and turns around "HEEEEEYY MAAHHHN" He is drunk. He is holding some piece of material in his hand.
Me:"What have you got in your hand?"
Paul:"Oh, that's my underwear"
Me:"Of course"
Paul:"We were watching hoskins' band and I was going to throw my underwear on-stage so I went in the bathroom and took them off"
I meant to ask him how long he was walking around with his underwearpants in his hand but I'm sure his sense of time was as fucked up as mine was.
I left again. the band has stopped playing for the evening. I went back to Konfusion. Everyone was there. We left shortly after. I threw up. Julie wasn't impressed.

A Molson event NOT featuring Sloan....

I left a sizable gap between my last post and this one on purpose. It seemed nothing in my life was worth writing about. I'm old now. Not as old as my brother in law though. He turned 30 on the 16th. He got a PS3 for his birthday. My sister (his wife) calls it the PS3-0. She is witty. Playing video games at 30 is nothing though. My best friend's father is in his 60s and plays playstation just as much as I do, which is a ridiculous amount. He even went out and bought a PSP so he could play games in his office at work. This guy is still a kid at heart and I consider him a friend more than my buddy's dad or my family doctor. (he actually IS my family doctor, the few of you that actually read my blog already know that though)
My last post spoke about the upcoming Queens of the Stone Age concert. I decided to become an alcoholic so that I could attend the show. I won on the first box of beer I bought. I couldn't believe it. Andrea didn't. She told me to "fuck off" a few times and then proceeded the inspect the ticket as if she was a baseball card collector. She doesn't take me seriously that often. I don't blame her either. I have since bought 3 or 4 more boxes of beer with the hopes of landing passes for my friends. I appreciate my friends more than I do my own liver. That's fuckin' commitment.
Many of you have seen this clip. It's pretty funny. Watch it. When you finish watching that one, watch this one. I think I pee'd a little bit when I did.